Tale Of Two Merchants

She wants a man to be proud of. Not a kiss-ass. Not a wimp. Not an abusive bastard either. She wants someone who is not controlled by others. At the same she wants someone who does’t want to control others. She wants a man with a class, but not a toy who never smiles. A man who can make her hot, yet respect her. A man who is strong, but not rude. A man who is witty, but not a fool. A man who is kind, but not weak. A man who is emotional mature – one who goes after what he wants but is considerate of others in the process. An intelligent man, not an idiot. A gentlemen, not a douche bag. A man with a mind of his own. She wants a self-made man, not a momma’s boy. Ultimately she wants an independent man that is willing to work his way into interdependency.

There are plenty of things women want in a man. For some men, this seems like a lot to ask – especially to men who are relatively young. (When explaining this in public, I have actually heard several men complain ‘That seems like a lot of work, I’ll stick to masturbation’. I’m not kidding). Some will tell you “women don’t know what they want”. Even some women will tell you they don’t know what they want. Truth is, they do know what they want. It’s just that most (women and men) never dare to admit it because they are afraid they won’t get it. Likewise, some will say “men don’t know what they want”. This too is a misconception. Get over the crap and be absolutely clear about what is it that you want in a woman and you’ll find her. In return, a woman who is clear about what she wants will find you.

Love is a choice. Yes, a choice. It’s not a feeling that just shows up. You choose to love. You choose to do those things for someone. You choose to physically encounter that person. You choose to share quality time together. You’re aware of the choices you’re making. You may later tell yourself that you just fell in love, but the truth is, you technically chose to fall in love. While attraction can’t be helped, we are graced with the truth that love is actually a choice. You don’t automatically love someone. You choose to do it.

When someone says “Love is just not there anymore between us”, what they are really saying is “We no longer choose to exercise love”. When someone says “I cannot befriend that person”, what they are really saying “I choose not to befriend this person”. A real loving relationship is a daily exercise of love. We must choose to daily build on the things that are important for those we choose to be close to us. Everything is choices.
Daniel Becerra